Non rhyming and Rhyming
communication, consequence, honesty, intimacy, love, relationships, sex Becca
9:46 pm
Sex
is so tricky;
It’s so easy
to get someone to love
how you look in their bed.
It’s so easy to
be wanted
and ride that high
unaware
there’s no where to land
unaware
what changed while you were up there.
It’s so hard to tell
when words are as real as they can be
and when they’re bargains for heavy breaths
(or the heavy breaths, bargains for words- we all know how that works).
It’s hard to tell
when everyone’s on the same page
and when
by some slight of hand
the page turns-
burns
love and lust
separate
instead of having them become one
movement
all in the same.
People lie and say
it doesn’t matter, no strings attached.
Never believe that.
Sex has never been
clean cut.
There has never been
“just a fuck”.
Bodies are driven, have motives, have spirits-
everything means something.
So
it should be a rule-
we have to love the ones we fuck,
no matter what.
And we have to trust the ones we love-
Isn’t that equation clear enough?
Take the guess work out of it.
Make it count.
We should demand to refuse
those
so bent on wreckage-
so concerned only with
their moment.
Sex should be fun
as much as is it should be love.
Make it matter (because it already does).
Waste no
body’s
offering.
Minimize nothing
with manipulation or make believe.
We owe our lovers all the honesty we’ve got
(and we should love the ones we fuck).
Waste no
heart’s efforts
with tricks and games
(where not everyone’s a player, but everyone gets played).
Waste not-
bodies or hearts
or want not-
right from the start.
5 Responses »
Non rhyming
consequence, fear, grief, honesty, intimacy, life, love, prayer, relationships, sex Becca
10:45 pm
I want to apologize
every time he touches me
because I’m so sorry
it’s not you.
You know I tried,
right?
Or doesn’t it count-
so long ago?
Or doesn’t it matter
at all?
I hold tight to hope
while shadows push their way
as far as they can go,
take everything they can…
They can’t
take this-
this part that’s been waiting.
You know
I always wanted YOU-
right?
2 Responses »
Non rhyming
communication, distance, honesty, institutions, intimacy, relationships, self, solitude Becca
10:38 pm
It’s a happy madness.
I wish you understood
the clothes on the floor,
the books and papers and pens-
the movement.
I wish you saw how pretty
the movement
is;
the moments when
nothing matters.
I could never trust you with that,
with something
as precious as that;
of course I tried,
only to find
.every.
.time.
you marked it wrong,
told me so
and grabbed me to come along.
But I’m happy
in the madness, the movement
I am happy
in,
on,
my own
One Response »
Non rhyming
communication, determination, fantasy, fear, honesty, letting go, living, longing, purpose, relationships, self, solitude, writing Becca
3:49 pm
if i could bury myself in this, i would. i would suffocate myself with this. i would place it over my mouth, my nose, my eyes. i
would just let it be the last thing i breathe, the last thing i see, the last thing i think. i
would leave it
just like that. so i would never have to wake up without it one more day. so i
would never
have to look at it from a distance, from an unimaginable distance. i
wouldn’t have to
yell into the void between, the place where my voice never reaches, my words
never matter enough.
i wouldn’t question again why i stand on the fringe of it all, why i
assume
my bridges are too shaky, or my roots too heavy, my intensity too much or
of course, not enough, whatever the argument may be. or that i
am too much or
too little
never again a concern because,entombed in this, i couldn’t be
anything else
but the one who carried this so close it took over and
took my place, couraged me enough to
let go and just
be this
and nothing else, since
i
never really was the rest. i never really was anything else anyway.
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Non rhyming and Rhyming
beauty, belief, honesty, intimacy, living, longing, love, relationships Becca
1:21 am
There is a psychology to everything.
You’ve got to know
I gather my field observations
and slide them under my microscope…
you’re still driving me crazy
your hands are still warm
warm
on my skin
they are still
the only hands I ever really want
we don’t even have to talk
I can hear your thoughts
we could go forever
we could sit in silence
it’s really all the same
That’s what I already told you
That’s just the truth of us
there’s not a stitch
wrong with what we sew
we hold our borders well
until-
for just a while there
I thought we were mindless
we were
shaking everything down
we were
going to lose all our senses-
drive away,
never come back
I get it
I’m right there with you
I’m placing your hand in mine-
it fell into me this time;
you
aren’t ice
you don’t just shimmer past
what would you have done
if your name rolled off my tongue?
That has me drinking
That has me holding on
my god,
you are
exactly…
you need more time, so do I
2 Responses »
Rhyming
aftermath, broken, childhood, consequence, coping, family, grief, honesty, letting go, life, longing, parenthood, relationships, self, solitude, strength Becca
7:27 am
Can I just say,
it was unfair
to let me be
such a small adult.
love was not enough
to show me the ropes
A child’s decisions
should be questioned.
Didn’t anyone see
the child in me?
Didn’t anyone
lack enough belief?
It was obligation,
everything I did
It was preservation,
everything I hid
It was fear,
every time I ran
It was grasping
to understand
everything you couldn’t tell me
while you were so consumed
You didn’t see the child in me,
but I saw the one in you.
And I knew if I lost it,
if I let go
there’d be no one to come and get me
no one would know
what to say
and no one would realize
till much too late.
2 Responses »
Non rhyming
consequence, coping, longing, relationships Becca
7:13 am
I listen to angry music
way too loud
dig my nails into my skin
diverting the pain
until it is safe
until the knots are gone
until the threat of unraveling has subsided
and I’m breathing again
it is then
I’ve regained possession
I cautiously
return to living
and carefully
step around
the pandora’s box
that looks like you.
4 Responses »
Rhyming
beauty, coping, perspective, relationships, substance use, writing Becca
12:29 pm
This is
keeping my head above water
keeping my hands off those bottles,
most of the time
this may be a lie
but this is mine
I
do more than survive
with this inside
I own everything-
everything is within my range
as long as there’s room for movement
within this
I wrap myself in it,
it cushions every fall,
it walks with me through every wall…
this
may be a lie,
but this is mine
and this is
keeping my head above water
keeping my hands off those bottles
most of the time
4 Responses »
Rhyming
aftermath, belief, broken, communication, consequence, fantasy, intimacy, love, relationships, sex Becca
4:41 pm
I told her to be careful of the dreams she weaves,
and all the things she makes herself believe
He said nothing when she said she felt
Nothing like this before with someone else
He let her spin and weave the fantasy
That made him more than he would ever be
Too many girls take love from a kiss
In which no trace of love exists
You should have seen the way she looked at him
But dreams come true less than they end
She wrote him letters
And she called his phone
He never answered and she felt alone
It really didn’t take that long to see
The guy she loved wasn’t reality
Too many girls lay down with men
To wake and find how quick dreams end
He let her cry, he let her curse his name
She let him know nothing would feel the same
Too many hearts aren’t broken by men themselves
But by girls who dreamed them into something else
I told her dreams unraveled can be used again
But it turns out that dreams are hard to mend.
2 Responses »
Rhyming
communication, distance, fear, honesty, intimacy, living, relationships, strength Becca
4:36 pm
“I strongly suspect that the capacity for pain and the capacity for joy are equal. Only those who have suffered great pain are able to know equally great joy.” Madeline L’Engle
Tin Men
Sometimes
I just want to kick you (so many of you) in the chest,
break you open
What could you possibly be hiding?
Hiding from?
You must think there’s safety in being numb.
You think there’s no redemption, no healing comes?
It’s really not that bad,
feeling things.
You think everyone hasn’t felt that same
hesitation?
It’s just, there comes a point
where you let go,
until you do
there are things you’ll never know,
never understand.
How good can you possibly feel,
Holding back like that?
Tell me you don’t seek what you lack.
You have logic, and vices, and jokes
but I’ve seen your capacity
flicker in your eyes.
Sometimes when you speak
and words are left waiting,
I see what we don’t say.
You think it falls away?
Don’t talk to me about reason and hurt-
those are just graves,
I won’t wallow in that dirt.
I can’t stand clichéd excuses,
it’s so pathetic
and a completely useless
attempt of defense.
Do you really believe cold hard walls make you strong?
All they are is fear,
leaving you too weak to take the risk.
Countless tin men;
women pour themselves over,
hunting the smallest crack in armor.
Just trying
to give something to make the tin men real.
I can’t count the times
I ache
for you (each of you)
to break open
before you’ve lost too much.
“The waste of life lies in the love we have not given, the powers we have not used, the selfish prudence which will risk nothing and which, shirking pain, misses happiness as well.” Unknown
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